He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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