vagina is talking i cant
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
