Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
