Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
