You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
