HIV tests are more positive than that guy
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize