if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
