I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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