just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
