It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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