Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
