had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
