I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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