Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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