Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
