I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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