"it" just moved
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
