What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
