we're blogging at a bar
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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