I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Randomize
