Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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