new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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