I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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