Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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