i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
