Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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