so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
false alarm. still invincible.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize