I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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