hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
