Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Randomize
