well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
