Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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