i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
