similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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