that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
