new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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