I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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