I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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