hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
