I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
