I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
