On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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