so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
