"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
