This girl is more easily done than said...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
