Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
