I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
