dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize