we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
