I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
