You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize