it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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