she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
