i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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