Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
