the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
