i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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