Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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