Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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