actually, I'm a sock model
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
